Thursday, August 21, 2008

John McCain's President

The man pictured at right is no longer President of the United States of America. News to you? His Oneness has declared that George W. Bush is just President of part of the country. From an AP story on Sunday:
Obama called the U.S. economy a disaster thanks to "John McCain's president, George W. Bush," and chided his Republican rival's campaign team for trying to make him look unpatriotic and weak.
Mr. Obama, how demeaning to the office to which you aspire. Think ahead, if, by some disaster, your Oneness is elected President, don't you want to be thought of as President of all the people? Maybe you don't. Maybe you think the office is just a political sinecure and has no larger meaning. You keep making me wonder.

(No need to thank me for the word link citizen, you know who you are.)


Road Dawg said...

Thanks for the link. ( Hey.. I thought Bush quit!

Road Dawg said...

Normally, I start these things out by saying 'My Fellow
Americans.' Not doing it this time. If the polls are any indication, I don't
know who more than half of you are anymore. I do know something terrible has
happened, and that you're really not fellow Americans any longer. I'll cut
right to the chase here: I quit. Now before anyone gets all in a lather about
me quitting to avoid impeachment, or to avoid prosecution or something, let me
assure you: There's been no breaking of laws or impeachable offenses in this

The reason I'm quitting is simple. I'm fed up with you people.
I'm fed up because you have no understanding of what's really going on in the
world. Or of what's going on in this once-great nation of ours. And the
majority of you are too damned lazy to do your homework and figure it out.
Let's start local. You've been sold a bill of goods by politicians and the
news media. Polls show that the majority of you think the economy is in the
tank. And that's despite record numbers of homeowners, including record
numbers of MINORITY homeowners. And while we're mentioning minorities, I'll
point out that minority business ownership is at an all-time high. Our
unemployment rate is as low as it ever was during the Clinton administration.
I've mentioned all those things before, but it doesn't seem to have sunk in.

Despite the shock to our economy of 9/11, the stock market has
rebounded to record levels and more Americans than ever are participating in
these markets. Meanwhile, all you can do is whine about gas prices, and most
of you are too damn stupid to realize that gas prices are high because there's
increased demand in other parts of the world, and because a small handful of
noisy idiots are more worried about polar bears and beachfront property than
your economic security.
We face real threats in the world. Don't give me this 'blood for oil' thing.
If I were trading blood for oil I would've already seized Iraq's oil fields
and let the rest of the country go to hell. And don't give me this 'Bush Lied;
People Died' crap either. If I were the liar you morons take me for, I
could've easily had chemical weapons planted in Iraq so they could be
'discovered.' Instead, I owned up to the fact that the intelligence was

Let me remind you that the rest of the world thought Saddam had
the goods, same as me. Let me also remind you that regime change in Iraq was
official US policy before I came into office. Some guy named 'Clinton'
established that policy. Bet you didn't know that, did you? Now some of you
morons are considering another and more evil Clinton for president !!!! Go
figure that one!! She wants to take your kids away and let the 'Whole Village'
raise them! i.e.
governmental indoctrination .. Look this one up you dumb asses! The rest of
you morons want to be led by a junior senator with no understanding of foreign
policy or economics, and this nitwit says we should attack Pakistan, a nucular
ally. And then he wants to go to Iran and make peace with a terrorist who
says he's going to destroy us.
While he's doing that, he wants to give Iraq to al Qaeda, Afghanistan to the
Taliban, Israel to the Palestinians, and your money to the IRS so the
government can give welfare to illegal aliens, who he will make into citizens,
so they can vote to reelect him. He also thinks it's okay for Iran to have
nucular weapons, and we should stop our foreign aid to Israel. Did you sleep
through high school? You idiots need to understand that we face a unique
enemy. Back during the cold war, there were two major competing political and
economic models squaring off. We won that war, but we did so because
fundamentally, the Communists wanted to survive, just as we do. We were simply
able to out spend and out-tech them.

That's not the case this time. The soldiers of our new enemy
don't care if they survive. In fact, they want to die.
That'd be fine, as long as they weren't also committed to taking as many of
you with them as they can. But they are.
They want to kill you, and the bastards are all over the globe. You should be
grateful that they haven't gotten any more of us here in the United States
since September 11. But you're not. That's because you've got no idea how hard
a small number of intelligence, military, law enforcement, and homeland
security people have worked to make sure of that.
When this whole mess started, I warned you that this would be a long and
difficult fight. I'm disappointed how many of you people think a long and
difficult fight amounts to a single season of 'Survivor.'

Instead, you've grown impatient. You're incapable of seeing
things through the long lens of history, the way our enemies do. You think
that wars should last a few months, a few years, tops. Making matters worse,
you actively support those who help the enemy. Every time you buy the New York
Times, every time you send a donation to a cut-and-run Democrat's political
campaign, well, dang it, you might just as well FedEx a grenade launcher to a
Jihadist. It amounts to the same thing. In this day and age, it's easy enough
to find the truth. It's all over the Internet. It just isn't on the pages of
the New York Times, USA Today, or on NBC News.
But even if it were, I doubt you'd be any smarter. Most of you would rather
watch American Idol or Dancing with Stars.
I could say more about your expectations that the government will always be
there to bail you out, even if you're too stupid to leave a city that's below
sea level and has a hurricane approaching.

I could say more about your insane belief that government, not
your own wallet, is where the money comes from. But I've come to the
conclusion that were I to do so, it would sail right over your heads. So I
quit. I'm going back to Crawford. I've got an energy-efficient house down
there (Al Gore could only dream) and the capability to be fully
self-sufficient for years. No one ever heard of Crawford before I got elected,
and as soon as I'm done here pretty much no one will ever hear of it again.
Maybe I'll be lucky enough to die of old age before the last pillars of
America fall.

Oh, and by the way, Cheney's quitting too. That means Pelosi is
your new President. You asked for it. Watch what she does carefully, because I
still have a glimmer of hope that there are just enough of you remaining who
are smart enough to turn this thing around in 2008. So that's it. God bless
what's left of America.
Some of you know what I mean. The rest of you, kiss off.
George W Bush
PS - You might want to start learning Farsi, and buy a Koran.

B-Daddy said...

Dawg, very funny. But seriously, you need your own blog.

Dean said...

Obama seceded?

no dog whistle there... that was an outright appeal to all the kooks that threatened to leave (please!) the country after the '04 election.